Really real..

Ok people, things are about to get real. Really real.. (Disclaimer: This post is not meant for anyone who has a prudish tendency whatsoever lol) So I've now experienced one of the most awkward situations to be in, ever. As you all might have already assumed.. getting used to Thai food can be somewhat of a challenge since my American fed body is not accustomed to legit foreign food. And so as I'm walking through the most amazing market I've been to so far having a great ol' time with bracelets I've bought for lest than a dollar, delicious dinner and dessert, my body decides to hate the food I've consumed and cause me problems. And by problems I mean I needed a bathroom stat (stat means now) And so this begins the frantic search for the bathroom that of course couldn't be found. I asked three different locals and finally arrived at what I thought was my 'city of refuge'. I pay 5 baht to use the facilities and enter only to find all the stalls are full (obviously) So as I'm standing there doing my little dance that I had hoped was subtle, a door finally opened and I 'gracefully' bolted for it. As I open the door I look down in horror. I blink my eyes in hopes that what I see isn't real. But to no avail.. there, in the bathroom stall lays a squat toilet. At this point I have absolutely no strength left in my soul to find any other option. And I just have to say Thai people must have the strongest thighs of anyone in the world. I mean, have you ever squatted like that for a good period of time when you haven't been working out recently? To make matters worse I look around only to discover.. There's no toilet paper. Of course there's no toilet paper! As in all the bathrooms here they have what looks to be a kitchen sink hose. But let me tell you..it only has one setting, garden hose. And so through this entire process I'm literally laughing to myself thinking 'I cannot believe this is happening right now'. After I've finished my 'bidniss' I start to walk out of the bathroom and as I glance to my left I see an unoccupied stall with what? Yes that's right... a normal toilet. So obviously I had to post it on the Internet so everyone could get the real story. What happens in Thailand obviously doesn't stay in Thailand when it comes to my experiences. So hopefully you've found this as hilariously ridiculous as I have. You're welcome.
Tomorrow starts my new exercise program mainly consisting of squats.
Footnote: No pictures of my 'experiences' this time. Again, you're welcome.